


My Guardian Angels Are Special Snowflakes

by MysticMedusa



Series: Guardian Angels [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Babies confuse Raphael, Crowley master of babies, Fluff, Hunter Adam, M/M, Original Character(s), Raphael is clueless, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, The author lies, angels should not be hunters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-08-19 06:33:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8193859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticMedusa/pseuds/MysticMedusa
Summary: The random tales of Crowley and Raphael as babysitters and Gabriel and Michael attempting to be hunters as they protect their human Adam





	1. Babies are adorable

**Author's Note:**

> The writer regrets nothing(Maybe...I don't know...)  
> P.S don't leave your children in the care of clueless angels. It's a terrible idea

Raphael stood staring at the small half angel children he’d been tasked with caring for. Both his father and brother had insisted he watch over the little abominations and though he’d rather be no part of the strange creatures’ lives he hadn’t had a choice. He suspected the fact he was partnered with the demon in charge of hell that either his brother or father had something else up their sleeve. He couldn’t figure out what either had planned but he didn’t doubt this task he’d been entrusted with would end with the demon’s death.

“So darling, you want kids someday?”

He wasn’t sure why the demon was attempting to make conversation with him. He didn’t even look at the king of hell as he kept his eyes locked onto the four small children that were current watching him. He’d gathered them in a single room to avoid failing his mission.

“Come on, talk to me. I only bite a little.”

Raphael finally looked at the demon who was sipping his drink.

“What do you want?”

Crowley grinned as he said in a playful tone, “Besides your number? How about a date on Friday?”

Raphael didn’t understand why the demon made such jokes as he turned back to the children. The older one belonging to his older brother was reaching out for him and he was uncertain of what it wanted.

“Is the child attempting to smite me? Does it not understand I’m stronger than it?”

Crowley rolled his eyes as he put the drink down and came over to the side of the crib.

“If you must know Gabriella just wants your attention. Babies crave attention.”

Crowley picked up the little girl who was smiling at being held.

“How do I know it’s not attempting to smite me? It is an abomination that should not seek my attention.”

Crowley was once again rolling his eyes as he held the child for him to see. Raphael stepped back uncertain of the smiling child’s intentions.

“It looks like it’s planning something.”

“First of all this adorable little niece of yours is a girl, not an it. Also even if this little one could smite you I doubt she would try to.”

Crowley stepped forward still holding the smiling child causing Raphael to step back.

“Keep it away from me. I was instructed to only watch the little abomination. No part of watching requires me to touch it.”

Crowley was finding the fact the archangel was frightened of the child adorable and hilarious. He held the child causing her smile to wider as she reached up for him.

“She is adorable.”

“She is the child of a fallen angel so she is evil.”

Crowley gave him a look that was a mix of anger and annoyance.

“I’m going to ignore you insulting my bestie’s child only because you referred to her as a she and not it.”

Inside one of the cribs Bobby started crying causing Raphael to spin on his heels holding his hand up ready to smite the threat. Before he could he found something thrown as his head and Crowley was stepping over to the crib to see what Bobby needed.

“He’s just hungry.”

“Why does it cry instead of state what it needs.”

Crowley once again looked at the archangel who was far more clueless than he had originally thought.

“Bobby can’t speak yet so all his needs are expressed in cries. Go get his bottle while I check the others.”

Raphael scowled at Crowley.

“I do not take orders from a lowly demon.”

“Right now you do or I will throw a dirty diaper at you.”

Raphael paused before he vanished. Crowley rolled his eyes as he smiled down at Bobby.

“You little one should cry more often. Once that archangel hunk realizes how awesome I am I’m totally going to score a date.”

Bobby stopped crying and giggled as he reached up for the demon. Crowley was surprised before he smiled.

“You little wing man. I suppose you learned your skills from your daddy.”

Moments before Raphael returned Bobby started crying again. The angel put the bottle next to the child and almost immediately questioned why the baby didn’t take it.

“He wanted food so why is he ignoring it?”

“Because he’s a baby.” Crowley stated.

“Well than he’s useless. Why do people have babies if they can only cry and sleep?”

Crowley couldn’t help but laugh as he put Gabriella down and picked up Bobby to feed him.

“Babies are adorable and are our future. That’s why people have them.”

Raphael stared confused as Bobby happily drank from the bottle held for him.

“How are they the future if they can do nothing more than eat and sleep?”

As if to prove they could do more the little stuffed bear that Sam had gotten for Mary was thrown at Raphael’s head. He glared at the baby who was giggling.

“It attacked me.”

“She proved she’s not useless. Guess she’s a bit psychic like her father.”

Raphael rubbed his head unhappy with how many things were being thrown at him.

“Why would father have me take a mission in enemy territory? Does he want me to be prepared for when you all attempt to attack heaven?”

Crowley paused before he actually gave an evil grin.

“What makes you think you can stop me and the army of babies from attacking heaven?”

Raphael glared at him before he glanced at the still giggling child.

“I’m onto you baby.”

Crowley somehow while still holding Bobby doubled over laughing was what Adam and the others found when they returned home. Raphael looked confused as to what was so funny while John questioned why a demon and archangel were watching his grandchildren.

Crowley explained later to Adam what had happened and the youngest hunter was laughing as well. Somehow the stories of the angels in their lives allowed the two to bond and both Gabriel and Michael were confused as to how the story of their hunt had the demon red in the face.

“It wasn’t funny.” Michael insisted.

Crowley looked at him to argue that it was.

“You followed a wendigo for an hour thinking it was Adam.”

Michael growled at the demon.

“It sounded exactly like him. How was I to know the beast could mimic his voice?”

Gabriel was chuckling as he listened.

“What was the first thing the Wendigo said in Adam’s voice?” Gabriel asked with a playful grin earning a glare from his older brother.

“Oh I believe it was, ‘Oh Michael I want you to take me right now’ I’m not even sure why he thought it was me.”

Michael was red in the face with a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

“Well Gabriel fell for the same trick.”

Gabriel stuck his tongue out at Michael while Crowley continued to laugh.

“How do two archangels get bested by two wendigos?”

“I think the angels are just special. Seriously Gabriel why would you think I’d yell in the middle of nowhere ‘I want you inside me’ when my dad was with us on the hunt?”

Gabriel looked away refusing to admit he’d fallen for the trap. With no answer as the angels pouted Adam leaned over to whisper to Crowley, “Any luck with Raphael?”

Crowley shook his head.

“I’ll win him over eventually though I suspect if he ever has kids they’ll be dumb as a doornail.”

Adam was smiling in agreement trying to imagine Raphael accusing the king of hell of using babies to conquer heaven.

“Demon the small abomination is crying.”

Crowley looked up at the archangel and said in a serious tone, “She’s just sad she and her baby forces haven’t won the war against heaven yet.”

Raphael took it seriously as he glared back towards the room the babies were in while the other three doubled over laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John visits the penguins, Mary might be trying to kill Raphael, Gabriel is offended by everyone, and Balthazar is a master wingman.

Dean and Sam were both tired beyond belief when they came back from their second hunt since having children. Sam was being carried by Lucifer who was slightly annoyed by something stupid his lover had done during their hunt. Dean was currently passed out in the living room as he’d been unable to reach the bedroom. Castiel was oddly tired from having to use more power than normal as the hunt had taken a very bad turn more than a few times.

“Brother how were the kids while we were gone?”

Raphael and Crowley had been entrusted with caring for their kids again but only because Lucifer was determined to get his younger brother hooked up with his best friend. After the first time of leaving the two to babysit Crowley had explained Raphael should not have children as he was all looks and no common sense but Crowley assured them he alone could watch over the four.

“The little abominations are very demanding and I am certain the one you call Mary is attempting to kill me.”

Lucifer laughed as he made his way to the bedroom having already realized Mary was a pretty strong psychic. Raphael glared at Lucifer but his brother ignored him.

“I don’t think our kids are trying to kill you. Where’s Crowley?”

Raphael looked annoyed which was odd seeing as the angel rarely showed much emotion.

“The demon is currently watching over the little abominations.”

Castiel titled his head as he looked at his brother.

“Why does this annoy you?”

Raphael paused and it was clear he was only growing more annoyed.

“That demon insulted my intelligence while addressing me by a feminine term.”

Before Castiel could question his brother further Crowley came down the stairs looking amused.

“I told him it was ok he lacked common sense because he’s pretty.”

Castiel had a slight grin at the comment but it quickly vanished when Raphael glared at him.

“I am not pretty and a demon has no right to question my intellect.”

Castiel decided not to get in the middle of their argument as he went to go check on Zara and Bobby. Raphael glared at the demon who winked at him making the angel more confused than angry.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

“Why do you keep refusing to go on a date with me?” Crowley countered.

Raphael said nothing as Michael and Gabriel appeared in the living room with Adam flung over the eldest archangel’s shoulder. He appeared to be unconscious and somehow the arrival of the angels made Dean sit up only half awake.

“Hey guys…” Dean eyed them a moment seeing concern and anger on both angels’ faces. “Where’s my dad?”

Michael stormed upstairs while Gabriel gave Dean a wicked grin.

“He’s getting to know the penguins.”

With that the archangel vanished and Dean grumbled and complained as he got up determined to find out what the trickster had done with his dad. It didn’t take long for Dean to get Lucifer to find his dad who had been sent to Antarctica after Gabriel and Michael blamed him for Adam getting knocked out by a ghost. Dean was to tired to yell at the two archangels and John was just thankful he wasn’t killed by the two angels’ anger.

After the hunters had rested and were actually able to hold a conversation Dean lectured the two archangels on blaming his dad for things that happened on hunts. It wasn’t the first time the two had blamed John for things that happened to Adam. The last time he’d nearly gotten turned into a vampire when John and Adam were separated. The two had sent John to an alternate reality that time and John had stopped hunting with the three for a few weeks after that.

“I might just have to give up hunting if those two are going to keep blaming me like they are.”

John took a long drink of his beer while Sam looked up from his laptop for a moment to look at his dad with a questioning look. He was looking up a few things he and Lucifer might need in the future for the kids while holding Mary who was sleeping peacefully in his arms.

“You use to hunt by yourself so why not just do that again?”

John sighed looking a bit unhappy to say what he was about to admit.

“I’m not as young as I use to be. It’s probably a death sentence at this point to be on my own hunting.”

Sam glanced at Dean who had been cooking dinner.

“Dad maybe you should just give up hunting altogether. I mean you only started this to avenge mom and you did that.”

“You guys seriously think your dad’s going to give up hunting? Why not just request an angel to help him?” Lucifer asked from his place at the table where he was holding Gabriella.

John eyed the fallen angel before he considered it.

“I’m not sure I want to risk being paired up with another angel like those two.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes.

“Seriously not all of us are idiots like those two.”

“I take offense to that.” Gabriel called from the other room.

Lucifer rolled his eyes as he ignored Gabriel.

“If you want me to call an angel to team up with you just ask.”

John considered it for a few moments before he agreed.

“Darling why do you never keep any good alcohol stocked up?”

Dean gave Balthazar a slight nod of acknowledgement before he returned to cooking. Sam gave his usual small wave of greeting while Lucifer glared at his brother.

“Do you seriously need to drink every time you visit?”

Balthazar pretended to think about it before he shrugged.

“Not really but I’m bored and heaven is as dull as usual.”

“Want to kill things?” Lucifer asked in a playful tone.

Balthazar raised a brow but looked interested.

“Go on.”

“John needs a hunting partner and I’m sure that means both killing and drinking when said killing is done.”

Balthazar looked a John a moment before he shrugged.

“As long as you’re not annoying like Gabriel sure.”

“Hey!” Gabriel said offended from the other room.

“I can work with that as long as you don’t send me to an alternate reality or to visit penguins.”

Balthazar grinned.

“No thanks on the alternate realities that’s to much work for me and I hate the cold so no penguins.”

Crowley walked into the room and looked at the group before he went over to Lucifer.

“Lucifer your brother is impossible to seduce. Why won’t he go out with me?”

Balthazar raised a brow with interest as he interrupted their conversation.

“Why do you want to get it on with Raphael?”

Crowley looked at him a moment before he said in a completely serious tone, “He’s hot and just my type.”

Balthazar shrugged as he called Raphael. The archangel appeared next to him looking less than pleased at being called by the weaker angel.

“What?”

Balthazar pointed to the demon which Raphael looked at with an annoyed glare.

“That demon wants to be your bitch. It would probably piss of daddy dearest who I’m sure you’re still angry at and you know what would really piss of Luci, he’s least favorite brother banging his best friend.”

Raphael grabbed Crowley and vanished with him. Lucifer stared at the younger angel who was now studying his nails like they were the most interesting thing on the planet.

“How-”

“I’m the master of getting people laid dear brother. No need to thank me just don’t tell Raphael you wanted him to hook up with Crowley.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael hates witches and Gabriel should not watch pokemon

“I hate witches!” Michael screamed as the witch they were hunting slammed him into the far wall.

Gabriel had already been knocked around a bit and was currently nowhere in sight and Adam was currently unconscious behind the other witch. Michael cursed as he found himself paralyzed again by magic. This was their last hunt before John said they were taking a break for the holidays. Michael didn’t understand why people celebrated a day for his half brother who was little more than human. He still remembered the reaction to John’s decision that everyone was expected to follow.

“Are you serious dad? We never celebrate Christmas.” Dean had said in disbelief while attempting to get Bobby to eat.

In the three years since having their children none of them had celebrated any type of holiday yet John seem to think it would be good to start now. Michael just shook his head confused on why such a day was so important to humans.

“Come on Dean, we can exchange gifts and everything. We’ll invite Lucifer’s family to.” Sam had said looking excited.

Michael wondered now if this hunt had been a bad idea. They had been expecting a single witch and instead found a coven of them. Each at least a few hundred years old and extremely powerful. All of their abilities had been cut off the moment the witches struck them with some kind of curse.He stood when he saw the witch near Adam trying to do something to him.

“Don’t touch my human!” He growled at the witch causing her to pause.

The witch closest to him raised her hand to strike him but a odd sound caught all of their attention. The witches and Michael looked around trying to find the source of it. It wasn't until a small group of what looked like yellow rat mutants jumped through the window that they realized these things were making the sound.

What the-”

Michael’s question was interrupted as the small rat creatures all spoke at once.

“Pikachu!” Lightning shot out of their small bodies hitting the witches.

Confused by the electric rats Michael turned to see Gabriel walking up to him. He was eating candy like they hadn’t just been losing a battle against lesser beings.

“This is your handiwork correct?”

Gabriel grinned wildly while the witches were still being shocked even though Michael was certain they were already dead.

“I thought it would be funny. Killer pikachus.”

“What the hell is a Pikachu? I thought the witches cut of your power.”

Gabriel shook his head looking disappointed in his older brother.

“For shame Mikey. Adam would think this is hilarious if he wasn’t unconscious. Also the witches never touched me so yeah, army of pokemon for the win.”

Michael pouted as Gabriel healed Adam and he was disappointed to find Adam did think it was hilarious. With their hunt completed Michael flew them home and upon arrival Dean turned to greet them before his eyes landed on the Pikachu that Adam was holding.

“What the hell is that?”

Sam came out holding Mary and smiled.

“That’s awesome Gabe, you created a pokemon.”

Gabriel was giving Michael the biggest grin and the eldest archangel rolled his eyes before going to find Lucifer.

“So we’re on break for the holiday?” Adam asked hoping to not have to go on another hunt soon.

“Yep, Crowley, Raphael, and Chuck should be arriving on Christmas day. Balthazar is already here.” Sam said readjusting Mary who was attempting to escape his grasp.

“This should be interesting. The big man upstairs, the devil, and king of hell all under one roof. Can’t wait to see how badly this ends.”

Dean shot a look to Gabriel but the archangel was already ignoring him in favor of picking up Adam to carry him off to their room.

“Gabe that rat creature isn’t staying.” Dean tried to make the archangel listen to him but the only response he got was the rat jumping onto him.

He cursed and stumbled back as the pokemon snuggled up to him. Mary was giggling like crazy and even Sam was finding it difficult to stop himself from finding the amusement in Dean’s dislike for the thing.

“Gabe!”

Gabriel ignored Dean’s call as he carried his lover off to their room.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas with God, king of hell, angels, and hunters can't possibly be a good idea, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. My computer completely crashed on me so I had to wait for it to be fixed.

“Gabe you can’t put sugar in everything!” Sam snapped finally as he grabbed the angel attempting to ruin Christmas dinner.

“It’ll make it better, I swear!” The archangel insisted as he attempted to add candy to the stuffing.

“Lucifer!” Sam finally called for his angel’s help.

Lucifer wasn’t amused by being interrupted during his time with his children. He grabbed Gabriel and dragged him from the kitchen leaving Sam to finally work in peace. That was until Balthazar came in looking for something to ease his boredom.

“I’m trying to get dinner ready, can you please go bug someone else?”

Sam had a headache and he’d been cooking all day. He was tired and he’d had to stop Gabriel’s attempts the entire time.

“I would bug Crowley but he’s currently trying to get laid.” The angel said sitting down to watch Sam.

“Why don’t you go start drinking with Dean and dad? I saw them wander off with some beers.”

Balthazar considered it before he decided he was going to stay where he was. Sam managed to work in peace until he was almost done and Castiel came in carrying little Bobby.

“Father has arrived and he has brought your hunter friends.”

Sam raised a brow uncertain who else was coming.

“Um…how many others did he bring?”

Castiel glanced out of the room to double check before he answered, “four others.”

Sam rubbed his temples willing his headache away before he went to go greet the unexpected guests.

“Hey Bobby,” Sam said smiling when he saw the older hunter talking to Dean.

“Hey Sam, hope you don’t mind but I brought some friends. Meet Jo, Ellen, and Garth. They’re hunters I’ve worked with on several occasions.”

Sam greeted each of them and wasn’t surprised when Gabriel appeared that Jo jumped.

“Holy crap…it’s true that you guys are working with angels.”

Gabriel waved before he poked Sam until he got the hunter’s attention.

“Yes Gabe?” Sam asked already so done with Gabriel’s shit.

“Sooooo I kind of flooded the toilet upstairs. Thought I’d just tell you.”

“How did you flood the toilet? You don’t even have to use it.”

“Well Luci didn’t like me bugging you so he made me change your kid’s dipper. I don’t want to touch that so I flushed it down the toilet. Have fun!”

Sam grabbed the angel before he could fly off and dragged him upstairs to fix his mess. John watched them leave curious if Gabriel had been bugging his son all day.

“Where’s Adam and Michael? Don’t they normally keep him under control?”

Dean just shrugged as he and Balthazar began setting food on the table. When everyone was gathering the two finally showed up and to Dean’s dismay they brought the electric rat with them.

“Awe this is super cute.” Chuck said petting the rat.

“It’s annoying…” Dean mumbled as he sat next to his lover.

“So, first holiday together.” John said eyeing the odd group of people.

God himself, king of hell, angels, and hunters all gathered in one place. He swore if someone had told him he’d be sitting here at a table like this years ago he’d have slapped the crazy out of them.

“Everything looks good Sam.” Ellen said smiling at the clearly overworked hunter.

“I hope it’s all good. I swear Gabriel made it impossible to focus.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you don’t like sweets.”

Michael pinched Gabriel when he stuck his tongue out at Sam.

“Behave brother or I will happily put you in the pit.”

To everyone’s relief dinner went well but these were the Winchesters and something was bound to go wrong. Of course that something was the gift exchange. They had randomly drawn names to see who they were buying a gift for. First up was Sam who got Michael. His gift was harmless as he got Michael three movie tickets so he and his lovers could go on a date. Next was Gabriel’s gift for Dean. When the older brother opened the gift he face palmed while Castiel looked over his shoulder and pulled out the silver handcuffs.

“Gabriel…what are these for?”

“Aren’t handcuffs a little inappropriate?” Sam said looking at the grinning archangel.

“Thanks Gabe, I’ll put them with my others.” Dean said before his face turned red realizing what he’d said in front of family, friends, and God himself.

“Don’t worry about it Dean, I already know all your dirty little secrets.” Chuck said like it wasn’t weird making the hunters look at him wondering if God was a pervert.

Lucifer’s gift was for Gabriel and seeing the a solid castle of chocolate the archangel’s eyes grew to a new size before he actually fainted.

“Thank you Lucifer.”

The fallen angel winked at Sam knowing he was happy Gabriel wouldn’t be a problem for a while.

Michael’s gift for John was a bottle of whiskey and John’s gift to Adam was a collar for his obviously permanent pet rat. Dean’s gift to Crowley was something he insisted couldn’t be opened in public. Raphael however didn’t like a human telling his boyfriend (or whatever they were as no one was sure and too afraid to ask) what to do. He opened it and was confused by the items inside. Apparently Dean’s for the bedroom gift was something the angel didn’t understand and everyone in the room looked like an apple with how red their faces were.

“I think this might have been a terrible idea…” John said shaking his head.

Lucifer and Sam were laughing but both completely agreed. The rest of the gifts were given in private. This apparently was a good thing as Crowley later explained Chuck was apparently the master of inappropriate gifts to your children as he had gotten Raphael’s name for the gift exchange. Dean almost wanted to ask exactly how bad it was but didn’t. His answer came two weeks later when Crowley arrived demanding to be kept hidden from Raphael. Dean noticed the demon couldn’t even walk so whatever the gift had been only one of the two lovers was enjoying it.


	5. Boredom of Angels and Hunters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When there's no hunts for the hunters to go on what are they to do. Apparently truth or dare with drinking. What could possibly go wrong?

“Sammy…are there any hunts yet?” Dean asked from where he was lounging on the couch bored for the first time in a while.

“No, stop asking Dean. Why don’t you go watch your kids?”

“Cas is doing it and he said he was tired of my whining.”

Sam rolled his eyes just before Gabe appeared with drinks in hand.

“Drinking game of truth or dare. I’m bored let’s do this.”

Dean grinned.

“I’m all for it. Come on Sammy you know you want to join.”

Lucifer, Castiel, Balthazar, and Michael appeared ready to join in the game. Michael noticed the lack of Adam as he vanished and reappeared with the human.

“Who’s watching the kids?” Sam asked concerned.

“Crowley and Raphael.” Lucifer answered taking the bottle of alcohol from his brother.

“I get the feeling this is going to be a terrible idea.” Sam said joining them for the game.

“Nonsense, this is going to be awesome.” Gabe said grinning.

“I’m going first.” Balthazar said pointing to Adam.

Truth or date.”

The human raised a brow before shrugging.

“Truth.”

Balthazar grinned.

“Do you want to bang Michael and Gabe?”

Both angels looked at him with interest.

“Yes, not sure why it hasn’t happened yet.”

Both their jaws dropped open while Dean face palmed.

“We don’t need to hear this from our half-brother.” Dean said as Balthazar took his shot.

“Lucifer truth or date.” Adam said seeing as the other two archangels were still staring shocked.

“Oh I’m no coward, dare.”

“I dare you to make out with Balthazar for a minute.”

Both angels looked disgusted.

“Why are you so evil?” Balthazar asked.

Adam shrugged like it wasn’t an issue.

“Why are you so nosy about my love life?”

Dean and Sam laughed at their brother’s perfect payback. Lucifer looked at Sam who told him it was alright. Lucifer saw Balthazar getting ready to run away as he tackled him. A minute seemed to long seeing the two angels making out.

“I’m not sure I like this payback anymore.” Dean said looking away shaking his head while Adam happily took his shot.

“Alright my turn. Dean?”

Dean considered it a moment.

“Truth.”

Lucifer grinned.

“Between your brothers who would you say is hotter?”

Dean gave a disgusted look.

“This was a horrible idea.”

“To late to back out.” Gabe said smirking now that he had recovered from his shock.

“Agh fine, Adam only because Sam looks like a moose.”

“Hey!”

Lucifer kissed Sam.

“It’s ok, it would be weird if he thought you were hot.”

Dean took a shot as he looked at Gabe.

“Oh Dean-o do your worst. Dare.”

Dean smiles.

“I dare you to go get me the best pie in the world.”

Gabe disappears and reappears a few moments later giving Dean the pie.

“Seriously?” Sam asks.

Dean’s already taken a bite of the pie and stares at him.

“What? I wanted pie.”

Sam rolls his eyes while Dean takes his shot and Gabe stares at Michael with a not so innocent gaze.

“Truth or dare Mikey.”

“Dare.”

Chuck randomly appeared startling all of them.

“I got this, Michael I dare you to finally ask Adam out.”

Dean stared at Chuck a moment before whispering to Sam, “Holy shit god is like the best wing man ever.”

“Adam will you go out with me and not just because my dad asked me to ask you?”

Adam smiled at him

“Sure, you bringing your equally hot brother with you?”

Gabriel grabbed both Michael and Adam before flying off with them both.

“Well guess I’m stepping in since they’re gone. So Balthazar truth or dare?”

The angel looked uneasy.

“Um…truth?”

“Do you like John?”

Dean and Sam shot a look to Balthazar.

“In a romantic sense no but how does Crowley put it…we could be besties.”

“Oh thank god.” Dean said.

“You’re welcome.” Chuck said taking a shot that probably couldn’t even affect him.

“Alright dad, truth or dare?”

“Oh I pick dare. This should be interesting.”

Balthazar thought a moment before a slow grin crossed his face.

“I dare you to make Cassie a woman for a month.”

Castiel who had been staying out of it had his eyes grow wide as Chuck snapped his fingers. Castiel looked at his now female body before he glared at Balthazar. Dean however was distracted by the female Castiel and suddenly dragged him off.

“This was a terrible idea.” Sam said again.

“This was a wonderful idea.” Balthazar said grinning.

“It was indeed. So long my children.” Chuck snapped his fingers before he vanished.

Balthazar passed out when he saw his father’s parting gift of a new female form to. Sam was shaking his head and Lucifer was laughing like a madman as he went to go tell Crowley what happened. Judging by the high pitched scream that came from where Lucifer had gone, God was a troll and Crowley was going to be cursing Balthazar later.

Angels and hunters shouldn’t be left to entertain themselves. John banned truth and dare after that.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're curious about the title of this work it's because this part of the series will be mostly funny stuff because when it comes to human tasks the angels are idiots. I still regret nothing


End file.
